my pandemic free life
I leave my apartment empty handed. Nothing but keys. It’s 11 am and I’ve just woken up. I like to go out first thing in the morning. The park lives across from me, and it’s pretty at this time. I walk past people and don’t hold my breath. I try to smile, make eye contact. A little awkward. I stop at the wading pool, kids are splashing around but I don’t mind getting wet. I’m here to go head first under the raining mushroom, swim through 2 feet of water and smile big at the kid who grabs my leg just because. I see a friend and I’m not afraid. I walk right up to them and smile. Give them a hug. Hey ! It’s been a while. We go over to Mayday, they open the door and I enter, bare faced. Order a smoothie and drink it right there. We get a table by the window. Look at the art on the walls and people watch. The table is a little sticky. Some guy is brooding over his laptop, a pair of friends are laughing in the corner. An old lady reads by herself. i don’t know what it’s in the air, and that’s okay. later I decide to go to a movie with my friends. it’s friday night after all. We get dolled up to smoke a joint in the car and sit in a dark theater, popcorn falls between us and we laugh too loud. I can see my friend’s smile in the glow of the screen. The room is full of other people with nothing else to do. We ignore them. lick our buttery fingers with no remorse. Kind of gross I know. But we’re kids. The next night I decide to go out. A friend of a sort of friend is having a party. There will be a bonfire and a dj and dancing. I put lip liner under brown gloss, pat my nose with blush. When I arrive I can’t hear much so I watch people’s lips. Folks I haven’t met before, I get close to. Just for the night. I dance with a cute acquaintance, we hold each other tight anyway and rock back and forth. Afterwards I stop at my neighbors house. When I walk in she’s making music with someone I don’t know. I say hi, give my friend a hug. She kisses the back of my hand. I talk to the stranger about their project. Their hopes, their dreams. I feel like I know them. We all become sleepy and mixed together. I go home, take off my makeup and fall asleep, the day still with me. I smell like bonfire, dancing, a friends kiss. I don’t wonder what tomorrow will bring.
